Get up now.



At night, it feels like thunder inside my brain; moving around, trying to burst free. It follows me, again and again, it feels like the waves of the ocean crashing onto my brain, and all my affection goes along with it. Frustration, friendship, envy, emptiness, unhappiness, pity, unbearable, hunger. I want to go back to that old thing i felt affection for. But not just the one thing; I want back everything that I used to feel affection for. Because now I feel nothing for any of those old things, even though their images are still in my head, crystal clear I want to keep the feelings of those things with me... I knew I was different from others, amongst all the people that I met no one could ignore me, either they would give me their favor or they would feel hostility toward me. Favor for friends and people who trusted me, fear and dismay to my enemies; I knew the way up. That's how I held so many souls in this hand. But why? When it comes to him i can't keep my equilibrium. The one who put me in darkness is also the one who is keeping me alive. Amongst the thousands of comrades, tens of thousands of enemies, only him... Why? When did it start? I was sure he was mine, suddenly he seized hold of me. Far away, on those cobblestoned alleyways this never ending play began. My strong desire to achieve this dream initiated my journey. But now while my dreams are fading away, inside me his brightness hurts my eyes.